Wright's Aerials

Haydn’s death brought him blissful oblivion

I'm sure that when Haydn wrote his String Quartet in G Major, Op. 1, No 4, he didn’t envisage that it would be the musical accompaniment to a scene in which a South Yorkshire estate agent decided, after a bottle of very good wine, to empty his camper van's chemical toilet, because he’d forgotten to do it earlier, and he was off on a camping trip early the next morning. Lucky old Joseph died in blissful ignorance of the profane language that cut across his sublime work when the contents of the toilet were found to be frozen. He will have no knowledge in heaven of the absurd and misguided attempt to defrost the turds by the addition of boiling water via the 'emptying' orifice. He will be completely untroubled by the domestic dispute that arose when the estate agent’s spouse found the astonishing mess of ordure on the bathroom floor. Rest in Peace, Joseph Haydn.

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