Wright's Aerials

This definitely happened to someone else, not me

I reckon this bloke must have been a complete idiot. This is what he told me happened to him.

"Last night I got home from the pub and decided to do a bit of DIY. I got everything ready and I had one of those huge aerosols of expanding foam ('fills awkward gaps, sets rock hard, expands 60 times its original volume' – you know the stuff) to fill the gaps, but when I pressed the trigger it wouldn't work. It said 'shake 20 times' so I shook it an extra 50. I fiddled around with it for a while but it wouldn't eject any foam. I took the nozzle off and poked into the hole with a screwdriver but still nothing happened. I tried hitting the can with a hammer but it still wouldn't work. "What a bugger!" I thought. I got a little screwdriver and put the end into the hole where the nozzle should be and hit it carefully with a hammer. Still nothing, so I hit it a bit harder. Eventually I hit it really hard. Suddenly all hell broke loose. There was a loud bang. A fountain of sticky foam went up to the ceiling. With great presence of mind I put my finger over the hole but this turned the vertical jet into a sideways spray, with foam hitting the walls, curtains, and furniture. I thought I'd retrieve the situation as much as possible so I tried to direct the foam into the cavity I was trying to fill. I managed to fill it very quickly; in fact the foam soon overflowed onto the carpet. Since the job was now done I decided the best thing to do was to put the can in the dustbin. I carried it along the hall as fast as I could but foam was coming out quite fast all the time. In the yard, a lot of foam got on the cat, unfortunately. I dropped the can into the bin and shut the lid as fast as I could. The wife was pretty annoyed about the carpet, walls, curtains and ceiling, and the cat was really freaked out. Next day I had to hold the cat tightly in a towel while the wife cut most of its fur off (good job it’s warm weather). The dustbin men came and when they tipped the bin up on their lorry nothing came out. Everything in there was one solid mass. The council says I'll have to pay for a new bin, because I just can't get the solid foam out. It's as hard as rock. We've got to have new curtains and a carpet, and the insurance say it wasn't an accident it was idiocy (cheeky bastards) so they won't pay."

Print this page © 2003-2012, Wrights Aerials Add to Favorites